Enme

* Names have been changed to protect anonymity.

Today I posted the blog at work, announcing that I'm leaving.

And as the realisation of me finally leaving Oxford after 7 years here started to slowly wash over me, it was surreal.

In a final conversation with Donna*, someone who over the time I've worked at Brookes has become my friend-mentor, she typed something which shook me to the core and left me dazed.

She wrote : "You are part of my work and mental furniture."

I'm so glad that I didn't rush or distort that moment by escaping to comedy or sarcasm. I just stopped, took it in, thanked her, and went home, after popping my head into her office to say goodbye.

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(Misteka is walking back from the facilities.) 

Misteka: Did anything this past weekend?

Girl @ work: Not really. I've booked some trips for next month, so just been at home saving up my money.

Misteka: Oh cool. Where are the trips to?

Girl @ work: (dreamingly with a smile on her face)  Portugal, Berlin -

Misteka: (wryly, Britishesque, without thinking) Oh, so nowhere exotic then?

Girl @ work: (surprised) What do you mean? They're totally exotic! I mean, much more exotic than Oxford.

Misteka: (realising she just missed the point) Yeah, good point. Uhm, see ya later!

Wow. I just came out with that wry British humour all on my own. And she didn't pick up on it! And without me thinking about it. OK, fine, she's Australian. But it is fascinating. I did it without thinking or wanting to be British.

I have been here for a very long time. Sheesh. And here I was thinking, I have more affinity to America than here.

….. 

*sigh* Oh dear – D'oh!

I found a ZIP file of an XML file – old blog posts from old Blogger account which I had taken off-line. Have put them in here now under a new category called Dark Time.

A lot of what I wrote at that resonates again now for me, life is cyclical.

Found this erm, interesting video taken on my diggie camera while in Wales.

Dude, I'm loud.

Saw this guy performing on Cornmarket Street in Oxford city centre one day on my lunch break. He's phenomenal. Enjoy.  

Dear reader and I,

You may, while looking through this blog, come across posts of all kinds, some talking about faith, girls, life, depression, etc.

It's a reminder that the writer of this blog has gathered together all kinds of posts from various blogs over the past two years and now put them in here. It's also a reminder that the writer is a multi-faceted person, having gone through quite a lot of change and experienced many difficult situations and phases.

It's a reminder that being an active believer in the Triune God of the Bible is as real as flesh wounds and messy as trying to wash dough off your hands.

Sincerely,

Misteka.

PS. I deliberately didn't use the word "Christian". There is a reason. I haven't gathered my thoughts yet on how to express it. Stay tuned.

Deleted Hi5 and Ringo ones too tonight. No point when I have this blogsite now.

I may revisit MySpace when I move to London to meet people. Who knows. But until then, everytime I get on there, even by mistake because sometimes checking my inbox on there has become so ingrained, I think of Briana. Kefaya keda, I said to myself. She's gone and the whole thing is over.

Yeah, it's been a while. Ever since I read this post on Guy Kawasaki's blog, this is no longer my on-line urinal for rants, free-floating thoughts, and emotional outbursts after long buildups. I'm not out to make money from my blog and websites just yet. I'm not really sure what I'm doing in any direction. I have a lot to write out about so I'll be outputting a lot of stored data into here. Brief synopsis: my thoughts after watching Adaptation, wrangling with faith in God-Church, and changes going on in my life.

Misteka gets his own personal blog. No more myspace, ringo, bebo, fido, leedo, guido. Just one place to get blogs about shisha, thoughts, writings, the works.

I recently watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and it’s now in my top 5 most powerful, brilliant, and preferred films of all time. I commented to my friends afterwards that it seems to be the sequel or maybe just the complement to the other awesome film Being John Malkovich. It’s spurred me to think very deeply and honestly about memory and its value in human existence.

Two Sundays ago, I have spent the last two hours or so poring over memories, images, and remainders of a past relationship. I put on ‘Allem Albi (third album down on the page) by the Egyptian pop musician Amr Diab and started remembering, in very minute detail, the times spent with the girl. Looking closely at her pictures, images of the city she lives in, everything. For once, I embrace these memories, and I don’t get angry about them or regret them. I still don’t know what I’ll do with all the folders of my hard drive. For now, I’ll just be thankful I’m such a intricate being. (Post is aimed for a Christian audience, but most of the article is about Eternal Sunshine and my thoughts about it.)