* Names have been changed to protect anonymity.

Today I posted the blog at work, announcing that I'm leaving.

And as the realisation of me finally leaving Oxford after 7 years here started to slowly wash over me, it was surreal.

In a final conversation with Donna*, someone who over the time I've worked at Brookes has become my friend-mentor, she typed something which shook me to the core and left me dazed.

She wrote : "You are part of my work and mental furniture."

I'm so glad that I didn't rush or distort that moment by escaping to comedy or sarcasm. I just stopped, took it in, thanked her, and went home, after popping my head into her office to say goodbye.

It will be so very strange leaving that office, after 2 years of so much personal and professional growth. I've ranted, sworn, worked long hours, spent many hours laughing, eating, joking, listening to people, helping, everything. I really grew up in that place.

It has been a real church to me, my colleagues ministering to me in their own ways. It's a real community, there's real camraderie and respect going on in there, and there's immense loyalty to the mission, the work, and the people involved. Everything is to a high standard, but yet we're entirely human. And we know that.

I still say we eventhough I'm leaving so very soon. Being part of Communications & Marketing Unit (CMU) has been that one time so far in my life where it's a positive identity to which I can connect to. Values I hold, principles I agree with, a place of safety and warmth, even when there's always a situation or person threatening to violate the sanctity of our little church.

I learned real-life counselling there way before I ever finished my Level I and II programmes. I spent many, many hours watching and listening to Donna talk, vent, shout, think out loud. I got to know her as a person and working closely with her, often being included in projects and initiatives I would have never thought otherwise, I was given that very special privilege to peer into someone else's life briefly during working hours, before I'd go home and sink into myself.

She and I talked about everything, even the most thorniest of all – faith and childhood and people. Disappointment, failure, guilt, loss.

Me being part of Donna's mental furniture, as she put it, becoming that close to her… what can I say.

The Incarnation makes so much sense now.

She has been with me throughout the dark times of Molly*, sometimes on a day-by-day basis. All throughout me wanting to go to America after my first six months in the job, through the continued strained relations with my parents, through the faceless heartache of the Belle* story.

Everything. Other than the times I deliberately shut myself out from people, Donna has been there.

It's no longer possible to speak of my time at Marston Road without mentioning the CMU church or Donna. They're inextricably linked, joined intimately at a level of real relationship.

Donna, thank you so much for letting me blossom, grow, and settle during my time at CMU. You're a dear friend, a fellow wandering enquirer into the God of our upbringing, and a most valued mentor. You have in me always a welcome ear and someone you can turn to, as you are, without masks.

And thank you CMU people – I'm going to truly miss you.