You will come across this name every now and then in my blog and wonder who it is.

Misteka is really a name I used to call myself for about a year or so. It was during a time I was really struggling with loneliness, perhaps not struggling then, but fully lonely and isolated. And during that time, I was making a lot of effort in time and study in learning Arabic, particularly classic and vernacular Egyptian, in order to get some sense of ethnicity, heritage, anything outside of myself – which at the time, I hated.

On a parallel track, I was sick of the classist way of Egyptian society, both close to home and within the social arenas. I couldn’t stand it and in my research into Egypt, I discovered music like Ahmed ‘Aadaweya and other popular music artists (known in Egypt as ’sha’abi’, lit. ‘folk’ or ‘common’), which somehow tapped into me as a person, especially as a misunderstood person.

So, I began to frequent shisha cafes and get to know Arabs and Egyptians, many whom my parents or church friends would balk at, who got me into another side of Egypt which was frankly much more accessible and not so stuffy. During that time, learning the slang, the swearing, and the Egyptian swagger helped me construct a whole new identity. And that identity was summarised and made known as Misteka.

The word itself means mastic gum, a common cooking ingredient used in genius, sumptuous things like Turkish Delight. Egyptian mothers will recognise it from the common phrase used “misteka we ‘habbahan’. I don’t know what the latter is in English; I’ll post it here when I find out.

But as much as I’d like to perhaps talk about myself as being something sweet and delightful to people, there’s another meaning or use of the word and that is within the realm of people, and ironical perhaps to this whole explanation, and class. In Egypt, you have now quite a wide and large working ‘class’, which has been immortalised in the thousands of films coming out of the country. I don’t know of course if this happens off the silverscreen, but in films and plays, it was common to give comical names to characters who were from this monolith of a working class. I’m thinking of names like Mazika, Le’eba, and Kheisha (music, plaything or toy, wet rag used to clean foors, respectively).

Misteka then is in the same vein. There’s probably a professional ironer (it’s a trade amongst the Egyptian working class – as in a guy who irons clothes) or a guy who cleans shishas or even a mechanic’s apprentice called Misteka somewhere.

Rebelling against my social ‘class’ manifested itself (and perhaps till now) in using this name, which is how I used to introduce myself to people. I waited for a while before I told them my real name. A lot of thoughts come to mind, things which I will explore in blog posts soon.

But after a while, I gave up on Misteka.

I grew disillusioned with Egyptian people even more, finding all my effort into sounding, and talking still get me nowhere. People still smiled at me with that grin they give to kids who pick at their poo with their fingers. Something cute in front of them. I found it hard to be taken seriously, especially closer to home and amongst my friends.

I didn’t know anymore what it meant to be anything. All I wanted to be was to be fully linked to one country and to be able to answer that scary question in social settings, “So, where are you from?”

My close friends still use it as a nickname and I’m content with that really. I don’t know where I am really in terms of ethnic character and heritage. For now, I identify myself as an Orientalist, mustashre’ in Arabic. I really want to say I’m Egyptian, but it’s hard. I don’t think or act – well when I’m acting naturally I guess – like one. I can speak much more comfortable and fluid Arabic, I can read, a lot of people I met in London before I left really couldn’t believe I was a 2nd generation immigrant, which was nice and seemed to vindicate a lot of my efforts.

But other than that, it’s all really hazy, knowing where my ethnic character lies. For now, I just put aside for another day’s examination. For now, you can call me Misteka if you want. And when Misteka is found, he will respond.